So my favorite bookstore is apparently going out of business, the ****s. And wouldn't you know it's before I could get my ****ing rebate that they gave out on your tenth book. They did have a sale where everything was 30% off but by the time I got there, all the good stuff was gone. Damn litsnatchers. So I managed to snag a book of O. Henry stories (My 11th grade English teacher loves his stuff and we're tight like that so I thought I'd check him out) for about tree fiddy (It was about that time I noticed the clerk checking me out was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the Plesozoic era) and another one of Cormac McCarthy's novels (Blood Meridian) to add to my growing number of books written by guys named Cormac McCarthy.
If you didn't get the reference in that last paragraph, it was from South Park. It was the one where Cartman goes to the optometrist and Chef's parents come to town (You remember Chef. Big black guy. Wore a chef's hat. Turned into this guy on his last episode:
) and keep talking about how the Loch Ness monster (From here forward: Nessie) has been trying to swindle them out of "tree fiddy" ($3.50) for years now. Some of Nessie's schemes are quite elaborate, going as far as dressing as a girl scout to trick Chef's poor, near-senile parents. The voices of Chef's parents are what kills me, though, especially his mother. I wish that episode would come on right now.
Is it bad that I get most of my news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert? I mean, they can't be all bad; Jon Stewart's had Jimmy ****in' Carter on his show, like, a dozen times. Oh, and The Onion. Their article about the spider eggs that hatched in Bush's brain was riveting and insightful.
I really wish I had HBO so I could see The Flight of the Conchords' new season instead of having to wait for the DVD release like I did last season. I need my quirky Kiwi fix.
So I went to dinner with some friends of mine tonight and one of them took my leftovers from me. It was half a freakin' burger. The worst part is, it wasn't even for her, but some other person whose name I can't remember/never heard/don't care about. Stupid jerk should've come to dinner with us if he/she wanted food.
I'm also excited about Demetri Martin's new show. I hope to Klein it doesn't suck.
I have discovered that, despite me forgetting it existed, Red vs. Blue has soldiered on and produced about a bazillion DVDs which will take me more time than I'd like to procure. If I wasn't so against torrenting/too lazy to learn how to torrent, I'd just do that.
I didn't vote in this election, by the way. I missed early voting on campus and was too lazy to drive home to do it with all the other masses. I feel bad about it because this was my first opportunity to vote but, then again, my guy won so who gives a flying ****? <----That word? Bird. Let me pose a question to all of you. Who has the better rhetoric class this semester: Me, with the rhetoric of southern rock or my friend, with the rhetoric of comic books. Most of my course involves listening to some of my favorite music. However, The Watchmen is one of his required texts. I think that's pretty damn awesome in its own right.
If you're wondering why this is so long: Why the hell not? It's a guest post; how often am I going to get this kind of chance? I need to make the most of it.
Anyways, back on/off-topic.
I love Kevin Hart but Comedy Central is apparently just recognizing the short little man's brilliance. He's one of my favorite comedians and they're just now giving him an hour special, a buttload of time after his first, half-hour special.
Well, I think that about covers it. In summation: more beer, fewer bookstores, Nessie, fake news, New Zealand, stolen meat, Important Things, RvB, Communism, Rockomics, carpe postem, redirect, grown little man, wrap-up, my post was better than Hunter's, goodbye.
Here's the site.
It probably won't make much sense at all.
Also, my name is Ninety on said website.
