Format change coming.

Since I just got a MacBook Pro I now have access to iWeb and thought I'd mess around with it for this blog. Expect some major revisions to come soon. Hell, I may even start posting on here once I do so. Don't hold your breath though.

I've got a new addiction.

I always thought everyone was blowing smoke out their ass when they said the real sugar cokes are better than the normal ones until I drank one of these Mexican ones. It's amazing. It's the same, but different. Like a bed with new sheets, it's what you've been enjoying this whole time, but so much more comfortable. I need to see if I can start buying these in bulk before I have to open a line of credit at that gas station that sells bongs.

Anyways, I submitted some of my poems to a magazine a few weeks ago. No word yet on whether they've been accepted or not but I'm pretty hopeful. If they do get published, it's $300 minimum in my pocket. That'd be nice. Oh yeah, and being published would be nice too, I suppose.

Speaking of money, it's nice to finally have some. No more having to decide whether I want Ramen or Cheerios for dinner.

I heard Ray Akins got into trouble for something. Apparently him and Eddie Shauberger had some shady dealings or something. I don't really care about him anymore since he made his blog private a few months or weeks or whatever ago. OH WELL.

So I'm back in Liberty for the summer. I'm pretty damn bored. You might've figured that out by the fact that I'm making a blog post about Coke and shit. I don't even have my motorcycle since I didn't have a way to bring it home when I left. I'll probably go up this weekend and get it, though. I want to ride it back to Liberty but I'd need somebody to drive my truck back as well.

I want to spend some time in a foreign country. Like a month or something. Brazil would be dope but I don't know Portuguese. Ireland's up in my list too. I should find out their drinking age since a trip to Ireland without booze is like going to Amsterdam and not visiting a "tea" shop.

Amsterdam would be nice too.

I changed my desktop again.

I shouldn't surf hungry.

http://bonniewalton.com/

A former long-time neighbor's website, home to some of the most delicious-looking things this side of ecstacy. Check her out and tell her I sent ya.


On an unrelated note, I think I've got enough finished poems that I'm finally comfortable with sending some out to publishers so stay tuned to see how that turns out.

I'm Twittering now.

So you might get more updates from me there. If you're really that desperate. 

I'll just post the link since it's changed.

https://twitter.com/JohnOdum

Ray Akins.

The Liberty Dispatch.

I don't even know where to start. Having a conservative Republican blog is one thing, and isn't anything that would spark my ire; this borders on libel. Now whether any of what Mr. Akins is saying is true or not is really only known to himself and the accused but what bothers me is how cocksure Mr. Akins is of himself, despite the fact that he offers little to no evidence to back up his outrageous allegations. His slack-jawed legion of commenters spout nothing but racism and ignorance in their ill-contrived and grammatically fetid responses. Many of Akins' posts seem to be cut and pasted from other sources, with Mr. Akins simply bolding statements that irk him. This post was even entirely lifted from another website, here. Akins offers up no citations, no honorable mention, not even a nod and claims the entire piece as his own work. I've posted my own responses to some of his blog columns but they have yet to appear, which leads me to think they've been stricken from the record by a man who sees my dissension as a threat or, more likely, just the typical hippie rhetoric from a pinko-Commie, pot-smoking, long-haired college student. 

Ray Akins scares the shit out of me. Not for what he's said or done, but for the astounding number of people who seem to blindly agree with him.

Taken from another site, applied here with slight changes.

So I'm running out of beverages that are not beer. I don't know whether that says I drink too much Coke or if it means I'm not drinking enough beer. In either case, I will be drinking more beer. Hooray, beer! (Red Stripe commercials were the ****. Why don't they come on anymore? My favorite was when the guy opened the door to another dimension or some **** and Mr. Red Stripe came out and said: Boo, scary room of evil! Hooray, beer! That one always made me larf uncontrollably. Re-dick.) I suppose I could drink more water, but then I'd have to put it in a glass with ice and all that jazz, then wait for it to get cool. Eff that shiz. Beer is cold now. 

So my favorite bookstore is apparently going out of business, the ****s. And wouldn't you know it's before I could get my ****ing rebate that they gave out on your tenth book. They did have a sale where everything was 30% off but by the time I got there, all the good stuff was gone. Damn litsnatchers. So I managed to snag a book of O. Henry stories (My 11th grade English teacher loves his stuff and we're tight like that so I thought I'd check him out) for about tree fiddy (It was about that time I noticed the clerk checking me out was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the Plesozoic era) and another one of Cormac McCarthy's novels (Blood Meridian) to add to my growing number of books written by guys named Cormac McCarthy.

If you didn't get the reference in that last paragraph, it was from South Park. It was the one where Cartman goes to the optometrist and Chef's parents come to town (You remember Chef. Big black guy. Wore a chef's hat. Turned into this guy on his last episode: 
 ) 
and keep talking about how the Loch Ness monster (From here forward: Nessie) has been trying to swindle them out of "tree fiddy" ($3.50) for years now. Some of Nessie's schemes are quite elaborate, going as far as dressing as a girl scout to trick Chef's poor, near-senile parents. The voices of Chef's parents are what kills me, though, especially his mother. I wish that episode would come on right now.

Is it bad that I get most of my news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert? I mean, they can't be all bad; Jon Stewart's had Jimmy ****in' Carter on his show, like, a dozen times. Oh, and The Onion. Their article about the spider eggs that hatched in Bush's brain was riveting and insightful.

I really wish I had HBO so I could see The Flight of the Conchords' new season instead of having to wait for the DVD release like I did last season. I need my quirky Kiwi fix.

So I went to dinner with some friends of mine tonight and one of them took my leftovers from me. It was half a freakin' burger. The worst part is, it wasn't even for her, but some other person whose name I can't remember/never heard/don't care about. Stupid jerk should've come to dinner with us if he/she wanted food.

I'm also excited about Demetri Martin's new show. I hope to Klein it doesn't suck.

I have discovered that, despite me forgetting it existed, Red vs. Blue has soldiered on and produced about a bazillion DVDs which will take me more time than I'd like to procure. If I wasn't so against torrenting/too lazy to learn how to torrent, I'd just do that.

I didn't vote in this election, by the way. I missed early voting on campus and was too lazy to drive home to do it with all the other masses. I feel bad about it because this was my first opportunity to vote but, then again, my guy won so who gives a flying ****? <----That word? Bird.  Let me pose a question to all of you. Who has the better rhetoric class this semester: Me, with the rhetoric of southern rock or my friend, with the rhetoric of comic books. Most of my course involves listening to some of my favorite music. However, The Watchmen is one of his required texts. I think that's pretty damn awesome in its own right.

If you're wondering why this is so long: Why the hell not? It's a guest post; how often am I going to get this kind of chance? I need to make the most of it.

Anyways, back on/off-topic.

I love Kevin Hart but Comedy Central is apparently just recognizing the short little man's brilliance. He's one of my favorite comedians and they're just now giving him an hour special, a buttload of time after his first, half-hour special. 

Well, I think that about covers it. In summation: more beer, fewer bookstores, Nessie, fake news, New Zealand, stolen meat, Important Things, RvB, Communism, Rockomics, carpe postem, redirect, grown little man, wrap-up, my post was better than Hunter's, goodbye.


Here's the site.
It probably won't make much sense at all.
Also, my name is Ninety on said website.